During these hours of leisure, the average child indulges in delightful idleness, interrupted occasionally by timid attempts to take lessons. He swiftly prevails over the desire to warm up lunch before eating it, and with his head goes into the computer, not popping up from there until the evening. In the best case, friends drag him out into the yard.
In the middle of the working day, in almost any office you can meet a woman growling menacingly at the telephone: “Have you definitely eaten?” Or “If I come, but the lessons have not been done. ". The woman is worried, a wrinkle runs across her forehead. She feels that her influence on what is happening now at home is negligible. And the child, in turn, understands: mom is far away, and the evening is not yet long. As a result, his second half of the day (read: half of school life) disappears - he does not really rest, and does not work effectively.
Afternoon: Priority List
How to organize a child so that he does everything while remaining healthy? Indeed, every year more and more lessons are given to children, circles and sections tighten selection rules, and the child’s body, as it required a good rest, continues to demand it.
First of all, when organizing the afternoon, you should understand the priorities: what, in your opinion, is most important for the child. For example, the value scheme may be as follows:
- child’s health
- school performance,
- socializing with friends,
- circles and hobbies.
A different sequence of items or the appearance of other preferences in the list does not mean that you are a bad parent. You just have other priorities, such as sports. You decide. However, enrolling a child in a children's club or in additional classes, you not only make his life richer and more diverse - you delete from his life an hour or two that could be spent on games and walks. This is important to remember.
When planning the afternoon of a child, the correct dosage of all its activities should be observed. He must rest, exercise and do simple homework. But how to accommodate all this in one evening? When making a schedule, you can be guided by the following proportions (they are, of course, approximate and largely depend on those priorities that we spoke about earlier, but nevertheless long-term observations of children allow us to state that the proportions are approximately the same):
- 40% of the time - rest (primarily moving, and better in the fresh air),
- 25% - study,
- 25% are household chores
- 10% - free time.
Please note: the student’s rest and free time on the list are separated, because these are different things. The rest should be varied and well organized: you and your child will have to decide how they will rest on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and so on.
But, despite all this, about ten percent of the time should be spent on something that is not regulated in any way — the child needs free time to go from one process to another, “forget” about one thing and start another. Temporary play is not just necessary - it is inevitable. Even if you do not leave time for him, he will still appear, only in this case you will be nervous because the son or daughter will not sit down at all for the lessons.
Homework: why it is difficult and long
Many parents may well protest: “How so? Every day until late at night we do these lessons with the children, and you are talking about some miserable 25% of the time! ”
The fact that it takes more than one and a half hours to complete lessons in an elementary school only means that they are being done inefficiently. There may be several reasons for this:
- the child is tired. Before sitting down for lessons, he should have a good rest,
- the child has stress. Paradoxically, the lessons are stressful. The child drives himself (with the help of his parents and school) into a vicious circle: I don’t have time to complete the task, I’m nervous, and therefore I don’t have time to do this and even more nervous. There is only one way out - to take a break and calm down, switch to another and stop being nervous,
- the computer, the TV are turned on in the room, loud extraneous conversations are heard. Despite assurances that music helps focus, it’s not,
- the child did not master the teaching material. If he received an assignment based on material that he did not learn, this is a miscalculation of the teacher. Homework should help consolidate the lessons learned, and not compensate for the shortcomings of the school lesson. Talk about this with the teacher.
How to control a child after school
Perhaps the most difficult task is to achieve the child’s fulfillment of the plan for the day. It is at this stage, as a rule, that problems arise. There is no general solution here - each family will have to build its own chain of compromises, punishments and rewards. However, you can offer some simple tips to help you organize your day with your child.
- To get started, make a clear schedule for the day of the student. Decorate it brighter and hang it where it will constantly callused the eyes of the child. Preferably near the wall clock.
- Making such a schedule, alternate between different types of activities. Let rest be replaced by study, and study by rest. At the same time, there should not be any “you will sit until you do it!”
- Never punish with lessons: “Well, march to your room and learn solfegiya!”. Lessons are work, not punishment.
- Control the child, but do not compensate for the rare selective control by the severity of punishments. And do not promise that which you are not going to fulfill. This applies to punishments and rewards. Keep in mind: for a child, the fact of your phone call is much more important than the text you say.
- Motivate the child. Think: what is really important and valuable for him?
- Give feasible tasks and do not expect too much.
If this does not work either
In my teaching practice, I happened to encounter this situation: my parents shifted all the care of organizing the afternoon of the child to an idle grandmother. At first glance, the decision is logical, because the grandmother has already raised her children, so that she will cope with her grandson. The trouble was that my grandmother could not cope. The grandson did not obey her, acted in his own way, studied very poorly.
Parents were not ready to admit this and refused to leave the child at school for a full day, although there was such an opportunity. The thing is that they made some efforts to solve the problem, and did not want to believe that the solution was wrong, and the efforts went to dust.
It is very important to understand: it’s not enough just to make efforts for the child to do homework. It is important that he actually makes them. Therefore, if you see that the method invented by you does not work, then you need to change it. In order not to step on the same rake every time, you can be guided by the following principles:
- do not evaluate the child’s behavior only from your point of view, because you are obviously not objective. Consult with teachers and relatives
- Change your child’s monitoring methods regularly. Sooner or later, you can adapt to any system and find loopholes,
- you can not turn the organization of the afternoon into a confrontation. Do not let your child forget that you are acting in his interests,
- change the methods of punishment and reward depending on the real needs of the child. However, do not forget that you will have to answer for all your words before the child.
“But what about independence? another parent will ask. We must give the child the opportunity to regulate his own life. After all, how to teach a person to drive a car, if you do not let him drive? ” All this, of course, is true, but even the most daring instructor is unlikely to entrust the steering wheel to a first grader. If you can demonstrate to your child an example of a well-organized day and accustom him to order, then when the child regains a little independence (and he will surely win back), he will use this independence for good. As in the poem of Agnia Barto:
Everything I do for mom:
I play scales for her
I go to the doctor for her,
I’m teaching mathematics.
All the boys climbed into the river,
I was alone on the beach
For her after illness
I didn’t even swim in the river.
For her, I wash my hands
I eat some carrots.
Only we are now apart
Mom in the city of Pryluky
The fifth day on a business trip.
And tonight is the whole evening
There is nothing for me to do!
And probably out of habit
Or maybe out of boredom
I put in the place of the match
And for some reason, wash my hands.
And the scales sound sad
In our room. Without mom.