Do you like a shy guy? Yes, at first it can be difficult to speak, but just remember that behind the wall of silence is the same person as you. You just need to overcome this barrier, and you will find that you like what is behind it. Remember that most humble people do not open right away. Following these points, you are unlikely to achieve results in a few days, so be prepared to spend a little time and effort to make it open to you.
How to behave with an indecisive man
If you find that your chosen one is very indecisive, the first thing you should do is be patient. No need to be angry with him, crush, force events - all this can make a man disappear altogether or scare him so that he will no longer suit you. But at the same time, you should not be too soft and supple, expecting the first step from him. Choose a middle ground and act calmly and carefully.
Try to increase the self-esteem of men. It is important to do this unobtrusively and without unnecessary flattery. It makes sense to ask him about the service that he can definitely provide, and admire the level of his knowledge and skill. Find out what a man manages to do best, and take advantage of this. Let him feel skillful, strong, fit. When developing a relationship, do not forget to warm up the man’s interest in you and support his self-esteem.
In an extreme case, when time or patience is running out, you can put a person before an urgent choice and thereby force him to act quickly and decisively. For example, a woman who wants to gain recognition may secretly inform that she was offered a job in another city and, if she cannot be held back, she will leave forever in a few days.
Indecisive man: steps towards rapprochement with him
Show your chosen one that you are interested in it, show your sympathy. But remember that, unfortunately, indecisive men very poorly understand the hints and often dismiss them, because they are afraid that in fact they only play with them. Communicate in a friendly and affable manner, show particular interest, but do not push too hard. Gradually, the man will be convinced of what means more to you than other people.
Try a little flirt. Light coquetry, touches at the level of friendly touches, words spoken in a whisper in the ear, direct eye-eye-catching eyes - these are all standard tricks that men usually interpret automatically. No need to seem accessible to him - just gently show that he can behave bolder and go on to closer communication.
If you have the opportunity to start a natural conversation heart to heart, do it. Share your feelings and doubts, trust - let the man see how vulnerable you are, let him understand that you may need protection and guardianship. This will help him open up in response and even push you to take you under his wing.
Reasons for modesty
We will understand what the causes of isolation, modesty can be:
- Feature of character. In this case, a person can be closed both exclusively to unfamiliar people and to friends. The fact is that introverted people are more comfortable feeling alone with themselves or in a narrow circle of friends and relatives than in a large company. Do not be surprised that such a guy will be closed until you enter the same “circle”.
- Reluctance to show sympathy. Guys often become more withdrawn when they see a girl they like. You can observe from the side how he behaves during your absence, or ask friends about his usual behavior (it is advisable that he does not find out about this).
- The last reason is the opposite of the previous one: the young man does not want to reveal himself to you because he experiences antipathy. If you are sure that you can not cause negative emotions and feelings, you can not stop at this point.
Signs of sympathy from the guy
If you yourself cannot determine the reason for his modesty, try to make sure you are sympathetic, the following symptoms will help:
- He often looks in your direction, and involuntarily looks away if he becomes noticed.
- Notice how his arms and fingers are folded. Are directed in your direction? This means that sympathy is manifested on a subconscious level.
- If a man in your presence controls his behavior: does not use parasitic words (and even less abusive words), does not sit cross-legged, politely addresses others, it is worth considering: this behavior is constant or is this a way you like it.
- The guy smoothes his hair, straightens his tie, etc. Such details indicate that he wants to please you externally.
- With tactile contact, he can start. If he tries to step aside or sit down, do not make hasty conclusions, you are dealing with a modest man!
- A little excitement, a little nervous laugh, sweaty palms are also a sign of hidden sympathy.
- For a modest guy, sign language sometimes plays an important role (he cannot express all his feelings and thoughts through words), he can reflect your actions or postures.
- Often the sympathy of a young man is not even given out by his actions, but by the behavior of friends. If they are aware of feelings, they can slip light jokes or hints.
How to overcome modesty in communication?
To move to a new level of relations, it is necessary to overcome difficulties in communicating with a modest guy. Try one of the tips:
- Start by communicating on social networks, it helps to avoid awkward pauses and other situations about which the guy is probably worried.
- If you decide to have a live conversation, think in advance a list of topics that you can talk about (take into account his interests, occupation), a modest man will not fill in a long pause on his own.
- The first meeting does not have to be held in private with each other. The presence of other people will dilute the situation and prevent the young man from closing. An ideal option would be a meeting in a cafe or a walk in the park.
- During communication, try to ask leading questions, providing an opportunity for a lover to speak out, express their point of view, this will help to get closer.
- Choose a balanced manner of communication: lower tone, calm tone. If the guy is really an introvert, he will be more comfortable next to you.
- No need to ask sharp and provocative questions, it is better to limit yourself to a standard set of topics at the first meeting (hobbies, general acquaintances, occupation, life stories, etc.).
- Do not ask the question: "Do you always behave so modestly?". A long pause, awkwardness will follow, and the guy will want to quickly end your conversation.
What further steps can be taken?
If your communication continues safely, you can take the following steps:
- Ask the young man for help in the area in which he understands. Be it a consultation on bank investments or replacing rubber on a car. When the job is finished, be sure to praise him and thank him. This will help the man feel more confident, will favor you.
- Try to find common ground in your common hobbies. Find out more about his favorite activities and hobbies. Firstly, expand the list of topics for discussion, secondly, you will become closer to your sweetheart, thirdly, you will be able to continue to develop together in this area.
- Try to join his social circle. He is not too big, but each of the friends is a special person for the guy. Show yourself in a favorable light, demonstrate that you are the best contender for the modest heart. For such people, the opinions of close friends are incredibly important.
A step away from a serious relationship: what can not be done?
For a modest guy, any relationship is a natural process, do not wait for high-profile confessions and offers. If you realize that you are gradually approaching the status of his girlfriend, remember what steps you do not need to do:
- Immediately hint at intimacy. Even a timid guy will be able to say that he is ready for a new level of intimacy. Your unconscious impulse will only scare him away, give time.
- Start serious conversations on the topic “Who are we each other?”. Do not worry, the man will still express his feelings. He has other ways of demonstrating them.
- Try to be close all the time. Do not forget: isolation and modesty are clear signs of an introvert. Such people need a break from society (not only the masses of unfamiliar friends, but also acquaintances, relatives). Give the guy freedom and personal time.
- Try to provoke violent emotions or feelings (for example, jealousy) in order to encourage action. Firstly, such a step will be useless, as it will cause only a negative reaction from the young man (introverts try to avoid useless noise, scandals, quarrels). Secondly, your personal opinion about you may change in the negative direction.
Remember: relationships should make a person happy. Surround him with understanding and tenderness, then be sure to get them in return.
A shy guy is an ordinary person with a tendency to communicate in a narrow circle, preferring to keep a certain distance with strangers. Respect the features of his character, if you want to become a worthy lady of the heart. Your patience and understanding will help to build a serious, strong relationship, with such men they are really possible.